God is truly amazing.
I have always seemed to go back and forth with my faith. Sometimes wavering from what I should and should not do. Even though I know the answer. I've been blessed with some amazing friends these past few years. I have made some that have influenced me and encouraged me in my journey with God. Some are not the best influences, but it's helping me grow in responsibility and making wiser choices. In this past year I have done some irresponsible and unwise things. That I do regret doing, but I am glad that I have learned from my mistakes. I might even be glad that I did them. Today at church I listened to a lecture on these kinds of things. Making foolish choices, and learning from them. The speaker pointed out that until you are punished for your actions, and accept that what you did was wrong, you wouldn't do it again. Whether or not the punishment is given to you by someone else, or if you realize in your heart that what you did was truly wrong. I have been praying and praying and praying that God would help me get out of the relationship that I am in right now with a boy. I was just praying about it about an hour ago. I prayed for guidance and for wisdom. That I could find a way to let go without hurting anyone. When I was finished praying, I checked my phone, and had gotten a text from that person. Saying they wanted to talk. Saying they didn't feel the same way for me anymore. I didn't think this would ever happen. I always thought that the relationship was uneven on my part. that i didn't fully want to put myself in the relationship. But i did anyways. despite my cries to end it. And now God has answered my prayers. So directly. So delicately. Thank you God. thank you for helping me. Thank you for giving the world your son, so that we may have something to connect us even more with you. Thank you for your forgiveness and patience with me through these past few years. for loving me. for being there for me when i didn't think anyone else was. for always letting me come running back to you. My Lord, my Savior, my Redeemer. I will never run away from you again. I will strive to come closer and closer. To understand you and your word. I will pray that you give me the heart and confidence to share you with anyone and everyone that crosses my path. Because you forgave me. And you loved me. And you gave everything to me, even when i didn't deserve it. So many other people need all of that. And in you that's what they will find. You fit me like a glove. You understand me. You make me feel at peace. You have made me who I am today. I am forever grateful, forever endowed to you God. I love you. I love you so very much.
